Warped Ramblings

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2008-02-25T03:34:13Z

Where were these when I was a kid? Want now!

Wlile it amuses me

2008-02-24T13:10:19Z

What dragon soul do you have?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Black Dragon

You are a black dragon. You are often misunderstood by people and they think you're evil, but you're just introverted and prefer your time alone. You might be a tortured genus.

Black Dragon

71%

Blue Dragon

60%

Purple Dragon

57%

White Dragon

54%

Green Dragon

43%

Indigo Dragon

43%

Sun Dragon

37%

Red Dragon

28%

My turn

2008-02-24T12:58:11Z

Which Norse God or Goddess are you most like?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Freya

Freya

90%

Odin

60%

Heimdall

60%

Hel

60%

Skadi

60%

Balder

60%

Njord

50%

Freyr

40%

Frigg

40%

Tyr

40%

Sif

40%

Bragi

40%

Loki

30%

Thor

20%

Writer's Block: I'd Like to Thank...

2008-02-24T12:50:42Z

Write your Academy Awards acceptance speech.

View 465 Answers

Thank you.

Writer's Block: Let Down

2008-02-24T04:43:36Z

Describe a moment when you were let down.

View 500 Answers

Just one? Ah, let me count the ways...

Okay, just one. The first that leaps to mind is one evening, calling on a 'friend' who had said that I could count on them at any time if I found myself in dire need. Having been left in a very 'untenable' position one night with no way of getting home, I had reason to call and did so only to be told that it was inconvieniate for them to assist me. This is what has led me to being Very adverse to calling upon any one in times of crises/need.

I have decided that it is better to let people believe themselves when they say they will be there, it saves me from getting further hurt/stung by believing it for myself.

Hear, hear

2008-02-24T04:24:46Z

Try it with only one name as well!

Colour me impressed

2008-02-22T08:31:26Z

and maybe a little envious

Links

2008-02-18T05:17:49Z

Second attempt with bonuses

Begging bugs

Backflip
A yummy mummy.

If they fail try this one and follow the link under the picture

Writer's Block: Happily Ever After?

2008-02-15T14:13:35Z

How did you spend Valentine's Day?

View 500 Answers

After waking up I had an anxiety attack that was quickly subdued when I learned that mine host was on his way to hospital. The evening was spent doing a back and forth, arranging stuff for his overnight stay. [His overnight stay will be extended until at least Saturday, if not Sunday as well.]

Writer's Block: Love Is...

2008-02-14T13:02:05Z

Who or what do you really love?

View 500 Answers

I don't know how to love, in fact I'm sure I'm incapable of it

Writer's Block: A Favorite Poem

2008-02-11T09:42:50Z

What is one of your favorite poems?

View 500 Answers

"Rain" by Spike Milligan

There are holes in the sky
Where the rain gets in.
They are ever so small
That's why the rain is thin.

Writer's Block: Repeat After Me...

2008-02-10T10:44:22Z

How have people pronounced your name? How is it supposed to sound?

View 500 Answers

People tend to mispronounce my name so that it rhymes with "Hi" instead of "Hiya"

Writer's Block: Weekend Plans

2008-02-08T13:51:55Z

What are your plans for this weekend?

View 500 Answers

Being Driven home from Sydney tomorrow and flying to Melbourne on Sunday. Unpacking and [re]packing in between.

Writer's Block: Chinese New Year

2008-02-05T09:19:40Z

2008 is the Year of the Rat. Which animal year were you born in?

View 500 Answers

The Year of the Rabbit Running through the Forest in the Lunar month of Libra

Merry Bah Humbug to all

2007-12-25T05:36:22Z

Boo

2007-11-27T02:34:01Z

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In November I gave starplee a Dutch Oven (-10 points). In June I donated bone marrow to kriian in a life-saving procedure (300 points). In September I pulled over and changed deathbydice's flat tire (15 points). Last Saturday I gave pinklady97 a kidney (1000 points). In March I helped yasutani across the street (6 points).

Overall, I've been nice (1311 points). For Christmas I deserve a shiny red ball!

Sincerely,
wolfkit

A word to the wise[?]

2007-09-02T08:25:06Z

Due to spamming, most posts shall be 'Friends Only' here-on-in.

Mind pictures

2007-05-17T02:19:36Z

In relation to my last post.

Baby in tux toting shotgun, licence in pocket - "00, not just his clothing size"

Students above most recent [or any other] school shooting rampage, looking down on gun-toting baby and crying for him.

Person standing akimbo looking over a group of sheepish looking people, news article running on big screen in the background - "Okay, who double-dog-dared the yanks to PROVE their stupidity?"

!?????

2007-05-17T02:07:59Z

!?????

And a question

2007-03-24T10:05:30Z

Have you seen the new show 'Heroes'? It's closer to the truth than you might realise. I've discovered the power of invisibility.

When was the last time you saw me?

Random recent observations by me

2007-03-24T10:02:21Z

Flutterbys can go fast!

When hunting one's prey, the glass door of an aracnophobes house is not a good place to sit.

If galahs are the 'clowns' of the outback, does that make a flock of them a 'circus' of galahs?

The black pen that one uses to write on blank CDs is not a good pen to use to re-write the faded/worn letters on one's keyboard unless one wants black blurs instead of letters.

Forget the Easter Bunny [not that s/he/it, St. Nick or any of that lot remember who I am anyway], I just wish the pizza fairy would drop by.

Mar 15 home entry

2007-03-24T09:51:59Z

Just because you're paranoid, does it mean your fears are unjustified?

It's 7:30am on a weekday morning. I've had a bad dream that somebody I know has died. I don't have their mobile number but I do have their [employed] SO's. Is it rude to send a message asking how the two of them are [not realising until after pressing 'send' what the time is] even though if they are not up yet the very soon will/should be? Is it wrong to be paranoid when you don't get any response at all? Is it lack-witted to be paranoid at all when you haven't heard from either party in quiet some time?

I think I'm pretty safe in saying I'm not currently pre-menstral seeing as how my period started yesterday. Sure, it's been a sod of a week, starting with 'gastro' on Sunday that went through to all Monday, a day to sort of recover from that only to be hit with a whole different set of cramps - not great at all! Even getting below 65kg for the first time in I don't know how long isn't really cheering because weight lost due to illness is the fastest to pile back on again [in my general experience]. But I am feeling so down right now it isn't funny, especially considering that it's been two weeks since my GP doubled the dosage of my current anti-depressants. It just hit me me, smack, right out of left field and has me feeling, even more than usual [and that's saying something], unloved, unwanted, uncared for, disliked, despised, ignored, ignorable, wretched, worthless and in general a burden upon any/all who know me. I so want to binge right now but it would mean leaving the house to buy something and I can't even be bothered to do that.

I've even had to cut my own hair because if I can't afford to have even the el-cheapo places wash it, I sure can't afford for them to trim it [let alone be able to afford to have someone like Alan do it] and the split ends were getting too bad.

Memorial for Aveline

2007-02-23T04:01:26Z

As many of you may already know, Aveline de Rais Rubinshteyn [links to obituaries may be found here], passed on the 28th January this year. While her funeral was held in Melbourne on the 4th of this month, a memorial service is to be held for her this weekend in Canberra.
The details are as follows [on-line details are here ]

Time - 3pm
Date - Sunday 25th February
Place - The Basement
Address - Cohen St, Belconnen
Theme – Punk Pink

I have tried to send this message to as many members of the Canberra Role-playing community, SCA and general Canberrites that may have known Aveline as I could using the following lists:
TD_OOC list; OOC-Avatar; Canberra Events [both Yahoo list and Live Journal]; Wild Wild West list; MP mail out list [from last sent email]; personal contact email

If you know anyone I have missed – please pass this on. Apologies to any who may have received it more than once.

BTW - Should you wish to call/contact me, please be aware that I only have my [pre-pay] mobile phone now [i.e. No landline] and am unable to pick up voicemail messages due to lack of credit. I can still receive sms messages and, for 69 times, send them. If you send me an email, please do not expect an immediate or even soonish response as my access to the internet is sporadic and only occassionnally of enough time to both read and respond to any correspondence.

--
Miss Kai'

Thoughts and discoveries

2007-02-10T12:10:31Z

all went by the wayside tonight - I shall do my update at another time for tonight, life off-line has smacked me in the face again.

Only by reading through various individuals journals did I discover that Aveline has passed away. I find myself simultaneously, sad and mad. Sad for her untimely demise and mad that it seems the assumption that People will learn because the world is on-line seems to have struck again. Ah, but I forget, I am not people, I am nobody and therefore can be overlooked without guilt.

On a lesser but equally valid note, I also discovered that freeform campaigns that I have current characters in, were also running tonight but again - the only way I discovered this was by borrowing my landlord's computer to be able to go on-line. If I hadn't had to take care of some financial affairs, who knows when I would have discovered these 'snippets' of information.

The first week of the new year

2007-01-17T09:46:26Z

No Virginia, there are no Knights in Shining Armour, no White Chargers* , no one to rescue damsels in distress anymore [if ever there really was].

Between my first and last sexual experiences, there is nothing that tempts to to even consider any other option than permanent and total celibacy.

I can't even grow into an old cat lady because even now, after just a couple of days of intermittent contact with one feline, I'm being bothered by my asthma again.

Most people couldn't give a rat's whether I'm dead or alive [evidence shows] and I know that I don't really care to be 'alive' anymore. I don't want this existence but I don't have the guts to do anything about it.

I think I could be tempted to have myself sealed into an anchorage but even if there are any in Australia, I doubt they would want someone who doesn't follow any of the Abrahamic based faiths, especially when I don't have the money to warrant their interest in sheltering me.

So - what's to do with a gut-less wonder who's life is breaking down around her and who is not surrounding by caring 'friends and relatives'? I wish I could just curl up and die!

* No! Motor cycles do not count as acceptable substitutes for steeds.

What not to say to a depressed person.

Now, it is entirely possible that I was PMsing when I wrote the above. I've never really been able to tell if I'm PM, just depressed or going through both simultaneously.

Currently, I am totally celibate for a couple of reason.

1 – My depression.
2 – A total lack of interest in sex which may or may not be caused by the above.
3 – Lack of a suitable partner doesn't help either.
4 – Solo masturbation does absolutely nothing for me and never has.

Now, an apparently necessary [for some] update on my situation. I have been suffering from major depression since mid 1995 and it shows no sign of abating in the near future. If anything, the opposite is occurring because of my current circumstances. My irregular ability to gain access to the internet has aggravated my social isolation, as has the necessity for me to have only a pre-pay mobile phone [I can not afford either a land-line or credit for my mobile so can only receive calls at this time. Outgoing Birthday SMSs are only possible due to a deal last year when I got 100 free messages credited to me. When they are gone . . . ] Further to this aggravation is my current inability to leave the house on a regular basis. It takes a great deal of effort and sometimes dire necessity for me to do so. Making phone calls would be as bad [had I the ability to do so from home] and is not helped by the local public phone's current inability to accept phone cards. To those who tell me to just pick up the phone and call if I'm feeling particularly bad – I thankyou for the thought but even if there was a usable phone handy, reaching out has never been my forte and just makes me feel guilty if I do so, so I don't.

All of this has led to the statement above about permanent celibacy because at this time, sex is just so low on my list of 'things-to-do' that it may as well not exist. This does NOT warrant a tolerance from me for the sheer arrogance of certain males of the species to inform that 'when' I become interested in sex again, I can give them a call and they'll come a'runnin'. As if my ego is not fragile enough as it is they dare to imply that I'm not likely to attract a partner by myself, should I want one. As if my social isolation is not so overbearing that they can tell me they have no interest in me – just my body – so don't bother calling otherwise. How dare they!

Oh, do be assured that these males will be the absolute last people I call if/when I do regain an interest in sex with the opposite gender again. They will also have to be thankful if I show them more than just the basics of civility should we encounter again.

Now – is there anyone else out there that would like to grab a knife and twist, pour salt into an open wound or in any other manner help to make my situation even more unbearable?

Cafinating

The other day, I really felt like sitting down and sharing a nice friendly cuppa with somebody. I thought who to call and realised that no matter who I called, I could not do so until I got to a public phone. To do this meant to leave the house, which I had planned for anyway so was in the process of preparing. I'd gotten up at 7 [that is PM of the day before] and had finally made it to the bathroom to shower and wash my hair by 10am. I'd managed to keep my trychotillomania(sp?) down to half an hour by continually reminding myself that if I stayed too long plucking my lower leg hair, I wouldn't be able to get those same legs out of the house to do anything. I ended up showered, dressed and ready by mid-day but then realised that, not knowing who was doing what for the silly season, I didn't really know who might be available to share caffeine with at such short notice and if I couldn't find a phone that would take my phone card, I wouldn't be able to call anyone anyway. That was when I remembered that I can't afford the price of a friendly cup of Java these days and just gave up the whole idea as a bad joke. Another idea to go the way of so much of my life.